A young black girl is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The girl says aloud, “Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”
The parrot says, “I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.”
“Damn,” the girl replies. “You actually understood and answered me!”
“I got every word,” says the parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.”
“Oh yeah?” the girl asks, “Then answer this. How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”
“Well,” the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing to tell to a woman. But since you asked, I’ve got a big dick and I wrap it around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.”
“Wow,” says the girl. “You really can understand and speak English can't you?”
“Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, music, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. And I can rap, too. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.”
The girl looks at the $200 price tag. “Sorry, but I just can't afford that.”
“Pssssssst,” says the parrot, “I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20. Just make the guy an offer!”
The girl offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, he's insightful and he entertains his new owner by busting some beats. The girl is delighted.
One day the girl comes home from work and the parrot goes, “Psssssssssssst,” and motions her over with one wing. “I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your husband and the postman.”
“What are you talking about?” asks the girl.
“When the postman delivered the mail today, your husband greeted him at the door wearing only boxer shorts.”
“What??” the girl asks incredulously. “Then what happened?”
“Well, then the postman came into the house and put his hand down in the boxers and began kissing your husband all over,” reported the parrot.
“No!” he exclaims. “And he let him?”
“Yes. Then he pulled down his shorts, got down on his knees and began to lick his balls.”
The frantic girl demands to know more. She asks, “Then what happened?”
“Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!”
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